Why bother.

So we're going to spare no expense to rebuild the Gulf Coast.

On its face, it sounds good, it feels good. It would certainly be an almost intolerable psychological shock to the American collective psychology to lose a major city - i.e. New Orleans.

But, seriously, this needs some thought.

For starters, unlike the people of Holland, who have no choice but to live beneath sea level because they have no land above sea level, last I checked, most of America is above sea level. This reminds me of an old Sam Kinison routine, where he said he had the solution to world hunger - pack up all the people in the African desert, and move them to "where the food is!" Why? Because, as Sam said, "see this, IT'S SAND! Know what it's gonna be in hundred years? IT'S GONNA BE SAND! NOTHING GROWS HERE! NOTHING'S GONNA GROW HERE!"

Likewise, know where New Orleans will be in a hundred years? BELOW SEA LEVEL! Why, then, would you intentionally put a city there?

It's not like we have a shortage of vacant land in this country.

Thus, my solution: undam the Mississippi, restore the entire Gulf Coast wetlands, and then, whatever is left dry, go ahead and build where you can find dry land. This is the result of man's arrogance in believing he can control the world without consequence. Ultimately, Mother Nature always wins.

I, for one, am not keen on running up an insane, decades long deficit to rebuild a doomed city. I suggest we learn from the wise folks who gave up on Atlantis after it sunk. They didn't build it again - they moved. To where, I don't know, but I DO know that Atlantis was not rebuilt.

Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Open Letter to the Kansas Board of Education.

This is the bestest thing ever!! The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, who has touched us all with His Noodly Appendage, created the world, and should be discussed in any "intelligent design" conversation.

Here is a drawing of the FSM creating a mountain, trees, and a midget:
















Also, please note the inverse relationship between the average global temperature and the number of pirates:














As you can see, from the above descriptions (and please read the open letter for a better explanation of the underlying and indisputable dogma here), the Flying Spaghetti Monster, who created us all with His Noodly Appendage, should be discussed in all "intelligent design" classes in Kansas and, soon enough, the world.

Thank you.

Parmesean be with you.